A Counter Culture Community

In a January 8 article at The Atlantic, Derek Thompson wrote, “Americans are now spending more time alone than ever. It’s changing our personalities, our politics, and even our relationship to reality.”

Isolation and loneliness are not new problems. That is, they aren’t problems suddenly appearing.

“In the 1970s, the U.S. entered an era of withdrawal, as the political scientist Robert D. Putnam famously documented in his 2000 book, Bowling Alone. Some institutions of togetherness, such as marriage, eroded slowly. Others fell away swiftly. From 1985 to 1994, active involvement in community organizations fell by nearly half.”

The problem has reached concerning proportions. Thompson notes, "Americans are spending less time with other people than in any other period for which we have trustworthy data, going back to 1965." Additional analysis of that data has caused the American government particular concern. Thompson explains:

“In 2023, Vivek Murthy, Joe Biden’s surgeon general, published an 81-page warning about America’s “epidemic of loneliness,” claiming that its negative health effects were on par with those of tobacco use and obesity.”

Other nations are experiencing similar struggles. Both the United Kingdom and Japan have “ministers of loneliness” in official government leadership positions.

What has driven us to this epidemic of loneliness? Technology certainly plays a role. From 1965 to 1995 Americans gained six hours a week in leisure time and they spent it…watching television. With the advent of smartphones, screen-based isolation has reached epic proportions. A survey by Reviews.org found that Americans checked their phones over 200 times per day in 2024. This was a 42.3% increase from 2023, when the same survey found that Americans checked their phones 144 times per day.

That same survey revealed alarming screen time habits broken down generationally:

• Gen Z: 6 hours, 18 minutes/day

• Millennials: 6 hours, 2 minutes/day

• Gen X: 4 hours, 54 minutes/day

• Boomers: 3 hours, 18 minutes/ day

• Silent Generation: 1 hour, 16 minutes/day.

Thompson gives small glimpses of hope, chronicling the rise of independent bookstores, board-game cafes, and smartphone bans in schools. But there is a greater reason for hope for the lonely and isolated: the church of Jesus Christ.

The church is a place of membership, spiritual community, and biblical discipleship. Romans 12:10-13 carried instructions from the Apostle Paul to believers in Rome to care for one another in particular ways:

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

There are over 50 “one another” passages in Scripture calling the people of God to relationally minister. For example, the church is called to

• Love One Another:

  • “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35)

  • “Love one another with brotherly affection.” (Romans 12:10a)

  • “Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another, for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more.” (1 Thessalonians 4:9-10)

  • “Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart.” (1 Peter 1:22)

  • “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

  • “For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.” (1 John 3:11)

  • “And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us.” (1 John 3:23)

  • “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” (1 John 4:7)

• Show Hospitality:

  • “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.” (1 Peter 4:9)

• Show Kindness and Forgiveness:

  • “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

  • “…and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3:13b)

• Encourage One Another:

  • “Therefore encourage one another with these words.” (1 Thessalonians 4:18)

  • “Therefore encourage one another…” (1 Thessalonians 5:11a)

  • “Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:25)

In all these places, the community is connected in ministry and discipleship. Christianity is not an isolated idea. Certainly Christianity is an individual faith, meaning each person must place his or her faith in Jesus, but it isn’t an isolated faith, separate from the local church.

Indeed Jesus reminds us that the world will know us not by our isolated faith, but our love for the church.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

— John 13:34–35

As a lonely, isolated, anti-social world looks at the church, pray that we would be a counter-culture of Christ-centered love and biblical community for them to see. Pray that we would love one another well.